Past Life Guilt

Dear Ms. Eve,

I've been a big fan of yours for ages, ever since the pastor in my church had a conniption fit when I asked him if maybe Eve bit the apple because she was bored. (I was thinking Adam kind of sounded one dimensional, if you know what I mean)

Anyway, I don't know if you can help an old lady like me, but I thought I'd give this a try.

I'm eighty years old, my aura probably looks wrinkled, and I'm a widow since I was 61. My husband was not a traveler but he left me very comfortable and provided for so I have nothing bad to say about him. My children are after me with a serious campaign to enter a home and give up my garden and all the chores associated with it, in case I bust a hip and cost a lot of money in repairs I guess. One son-in-law in particular is calling me every week, he is a lawyer, and sends me pamphlets about fancy nursing home/retirement palaces. What I'd ever do to him? Do have what you call karma with this fellow? I've been avoiding answering the phone and missing calls from dear friends.

--Harassed In The Garden State.

Dear Harassed,

My very first recommendation for you is to get Caller ID immediately. This is a phone service for identifying your caller so you know who is calling before choosing to pick up. With telemarketing so bad these days, it's a must for everyone. This technological advance supports choice over feelings of duty or obligation. You have a right to your space, and why not talk to people when you feel is a good time for you rather than what is best for them? Then you can be really present for them rather than dragging yourself through the conversation.

As for your son in law, you are right, you do have some past life karma with him. But before I go on, I must encourage you to keep telling him you are not interested in leaving your home, and the subject is closed. If things get more serious, you will have to consult a family mediator and/or lawyer. I do see that trip you are planning in your aura and don't let your family tell you are too old to go to Italy--you have wonderful past lives in Italy, and much "good karma" to reap.

As for the karma with your son-in-law, my dear, it is in a past life in France during Roman Empire. He and your husband from this lifetime were both your sons and they were Roman soldiers dedicated to the Emperor and insistently arranged for you to live in a beautiful villa in the South of France and move from your beloved Rome. However, after they left and went to war your villa burned to the ground and was completely destroyed. All your wealth was gone and you were so traumatized you lived in the streets for a year, trying to remember who you were.
It took two years for your sons to find you but by then you were happily living in a much reduced circumstance, and had become a follower of Mary Magdalen. You had learned to make tinctures and remedies from the wild plants of the Languedoc region I believe and lived in a small home in the hills, perfectly happy. Your sons were never able to convince you to go back to your old life, which you regarded as a distant memory. They lived forever with the guilt of what happened to you and didn't not resolve it for themselves until this lifetime, where your husband resolved it for himself by taking such good care of you and letting you be, but your son-in-law continues to justify that he was right or is right. So, forgiveness, compassion and kindness are the wisest choices of action for you, now that you can have more understanding about why he is compelled to act as he does. However, stand your ground as you did so many hundreds of years ago, and keeping claiming the life that is right for you.
P.S. Darling, I don't see a single wrinkle in that gleaming aura of yours. Yours is an aura of a life well lived and wisdom intergrated into the present.
Love, Ms. Eve.