I dont' want to Join a Marching Band !

Dear Ms. Eve,

Last night I had the funniest, weirdest dream. I can't remember most of it but towards the end I was trying to join a marching band and I have zero interest in doing something like that.

Toward the end, in the dream I was relaxed and lying on my side, and my skin was very tan or even, perhaps just darker than usual. I was pretty full of myself and waiting to hear if I was going to be accepted into this marching band and feeling voluptuous, large, not fat, but out of place. I had more skin showing than most everyone else and was not yet issued a uniform. My older sister was there, pretty gung ho on the whole marching band thing. The coach was praising me on my efficiency or precision steps like I was very nimble when I passed some quick jumping test earlier or something like that. But in the back of my mind in my dream I was going, What am I doing here?! My sister looked very lean and ready to go, but I was thinking I am wasting my time, and then, I woke up. What is all that about? I can't even read music. What am I doing having this dream? Why does it feel like a warning but actually was kind of a pleasant dream though I did think I was there kind of by mistake? Something is bothering me about this dream but I can't put my finger on it.

--Voluptuous Non Marcher

Dear Voluptuous,

How well I know what it is like to march to the beat of a different drummer. Even better, I know what it is not to even hear the beat and to refuse to march. So many of us keep ourselves from dancing to our own music and instead flail around trying to conform to the rigid rules and expectations of others. A marching band has very specific instructions and can be very fun for some people but it is not the metaphor to use for the independent spirit who is seeking to fulfill it's unique purpose. It is a group endeavor for which there has to be a strong group agreement.
And I can see that as a spirit you have long questioned your belonging to this particular group, represented symbolically by the band and long questioned the agreement among it's participants.

I found your questions intriguing, so I went to your spirit and asked them myself. By the way, I wouldn't be surprised if this is a dream you had in the early morning, just as your energy was starting to come back to into your body. At that "time" we often find ourselves trying to process issues that are very much body related and related to those other people and beings whom we are dealing with on a regular basis, such as family, etc.

As I see it, you are quite comfortable with your rebel or outsider role in your family group. The darker skin, and less clothing, and your comfort symbolized your ability to be comfortable standing out in the crowd and indentifying yourself as someone different. It is nice that this status didn't bother you. So many people are afraid to stand out. I think that this dream was a communication to yourself that you are being distracted by measuring yourself against family members and indulging in trying to jump through hoops that in the end don't mean that much to you. You were pleased by the coach's praise ( a Daddy figure if I ever saw one) and that praise made you stick around and keep wondering if you were going to be issued a uniform...so you could look like everyone else. But when you looked down and at your beautiful brown abundant flesh you liked what you saw and wondered how you were going to squeeze it all into that constricting uniform. The uniform represented the rules, and the prize for belonging, but belonging also meant hiding part of who you really are under the uniform, and agreeing to the group agreement (or set of rules) So there is a price to pay for the belonging and it looks quite high. This is a dream that is above all a little slap upside the head saying: Hey! Where are you losing energy, giving too much energy to the consideration of getting involved in something (family agreements) that would require you to give up some freedom? As in, are you being distracted into something that would require you to give up or cover up a part of who you are?
Darling, I love the fact that your personality here shows up as a dark and luscious woman full of herself. She sounds free and unconfined. Maybe she has more wisdom for you to "download", this other aspect of you. Why don't you ask to dream of yourself this way again tonight and see what more you can learn?
Above all, ask yourself about the distractions in your life that are keeping your from pursuing what you really want. Perhaps it's time to cut out those distractions and focus once again on your hearts true desires. It may be that this dream is also about stepping out of the family agreement a little more and realizing that it's OK, you will find your place.

love, Ms. Eve. Who is also Voluptuous where she needs to be.