Hello Ms. Eve- She-Who-Knows,
I just finished reading some of your columns and found them to be delightful! I was very amused as I read the questions others had asked and found some of the answers I was looking for! It inspired me to write to with my situation. In 8-10 weeks I will be leaving the security of my bi-monthly pay checks, and the job that is keeping me in a comfort zone and moving to Vancouver. I am going to be taking a leap of faith and putting myself in a position to pursue the dreams that I have always put on hold. This is not the first time I have moved and it will not be the last. I have a touch of gypsy in my soul! I am excited about my new venture and I have not yet told my family. I know they are energetically picking up on my intentions (especially my mother) and many mornings I wake up with a sense of dread and worry and strong feelings of failure. They usually melt away as I begin my day. I have taken a lot of steps (networking, sending out resumes, calling people, meditating and doing my energy work) to ensure I am as prepared as possible for my new life. I have a strong feeling that once I arrive at my new home things will work out. In the past when I have tried to follow my dreams I only got so far and then the family programming kicked in and I gave up on the life I wanted to create and went back on a more "traditional" path. I am finally ready to create for me, how can I keep from making the same mistakes I made in the past?
Thank You in advance for you insight!
My dear fellow gypsy,
I am sure that you are aware that in the morning you are waking up to feeling the emotions and communications of those you will be affecting with your move. Perhaps at night, out on the astral you are engaged in discussions and explanations to help your family accept your departure. But do not be worried that this can really stop you. These feelings are from those who are in a period of adjustment to the changes you are making. It is important to remember that ultimately, your family, those beings behind the personality and the pain that they carry, are in agreement to you becoming more and more who you are. They cannot consciously be aware of this truer love for you because they experience their pain far more then they experience their truth right now.
But what can hold you back is your resistance to their emotions, your resistance to the fact that they can still affect you and how you feel during your day. Bound up in that is the guilt of knowing that nothing you do in your life can ultimately affect their healing if they do not want to heal. So you must look carefully if there is any running going on your part. Are you trying to escape the guilt of being free when others are suffering? Does the guilt make you angry and then resentful sometimes? Is it the guilt programming or the family themselves that you are afraid has the power to make your give up your dreams? You are a very capable spirit and the only thing that has the power to stop you is within you. When you represent the one person in the family who has spiritual mobility, the guilt programming is very strong and then over the years the resistance to it builds up in the ego and it becomes your battle. When you engage in the battle of you against them, you have been caught and are no longer free, your energy and attention is engaged and now you are creating from inner conflict. Therefore, the family programming and attendant entities have won, because now it has what it wants: your energy.
Once you become immersed in the programming or the guilt (even if you experience it as other feelings or thoughts) you go into pain, and you engage in thoughts of blame for the pain, and thoughts of who is causing it. This is your programming coming alive in your thoughts, and the ego is back in charge. Instead, you need to turn into the pain and search for the keys to your freedom, your own healing. My dear, I know you have been doing this already. I think you are splendid and I see this move to Vancouver as a good thing for you. I see you looking for your spirit community, a place to land, to call your soul home and be yourself. Realize that some of the grief you believe belongs to your family also belongs to you. You grieve for what you cannot do for them, and this is a perfectly acceptable thing to feel and allow yourself--to an extent-not to dwell in. I want to suggest you do a ritual of grief before you leave and fully feel the futility of fighting the demands or needs you cannot fulfill for them. In essence your failure to heal them or have a tidy resolution, is the perfect order of the universe. In you finding your home and following your spirit, you provide for them the example of what can be done. In you healing yourself of your family agreements and programming your provide a possibility of what freedom can be obtained. Realize that as a woman in this world, guilt programming is abundant and you will continuously be kicking it out of your space for the rest of your life until this game is no longer played on the planet, so find some humour and make it part of your regular maintenance, a guilt cleanse, like clipping your toenails, nothing to take too seriously, just part of life right now.
Free yourself of the illusion that they or their programming can control you and realize if you give up your dream this time it will because you are not quite ready to live your life without the safety of those limitations that have been with you your whole life. And that is OK too.
When you tell your family you are leaving, try to understand their point of view and watch yourself for your reactions. Your reaction to their pain or emotion will tell you where in your body the programming resides etc. I know you know this already.
I do see you as an adventurer and that you have some traveling days ahead of you. And my dear, I do see your affinity for the north and I wish you a fulfilling journey and a happy life. Be gentle with yourself and greater compassion for yourself will give you greater compassion for those you leave behind. When you get to Vancouver, at first, immerse yourself in the company of like minded souls and do not allow yourself to get too isolated. Reach out to receive communication and connection in your first months. You will be fine.
love, Ms. Eve.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Dreaming of Another Life
Dear Eve,
My issue is I have a `15 year marriage. I thought it to be pretty good in most aspects, except for the sexual side. That has not been present for 5-6 years..... Me being menopausal, etc. loss of interest etc. I just never wanted to.
Until recently, when a simple "touch" and a genuine show of compassion by a co-worker felt like it woke me up out of a deep depression that I did not realize I was in. I have been obsessed ever since. i THINK if he would approach me seriously, I am not sure that I would not have an affair with him, and hope for more. Thank goodness he has not. That was in August. Nothing more than the usual office teasing, a few emails with double meanings to them, slight touches of removing hair from my shoulder to see if I would allow it and I did, most of it inititated by him with me following his lead. He has mentioned on a couple of occasions that he is all talk. I agreed that yeah I know that. He has a live in girlfriend that he claims is a great person, but doesn't feel the need for marriage right now in his life. He also is raising his 9 year old son.
This is totally disrupted my current relationship with my husband. I obsess about it all day, and I mean all day. First thought in the morning and last at night. I constantly think about a sexual relationship as well as a relationship with him and helping him raise his child (forgot to mention, I never had the wonderful opportunity of having children and this draws me to him also). I love his life with doing family things and such. He is 48, I am 51 and my husband is 50 and his girlfriend is 37. I have never found myself in such a dilemma. Oh yeah, the menopause thing is going on too. What is wrong with me? Why can I not shake this obsession of a future with this man and his child? I know it is never going to be. Can you help me to see what I am doing? If he has no intensions,and is just bored too, and that is why all the come here, but not too close stuff is going on. I need help Eve. Please give me your wonderful insight.
Thank you very much,
--Can't Stop Dreaming.
Dear Sleeping Beauty,
I see that this man has helped awaken you to your life. Your life is nowhere near being over at the young age of 50 and it looks like you needed a little reminder to realize this. Yes, you have been asleep, but your spirit is conspiring to create events that will make you wake up to the truth that there is much more you want to express and BE in this life. Your spirit is the real provocateur here and it recruited the man in the office to help get things going. It is a gift to be shown that there is still a spark of desire left and that it can be kindled into a fire. But the real fire you are looking for is your passion for LIFE.
And this is the theme of your questions. You have been awakened to look at your life and the desire for more passion in your life is what you are feeling. But I do not mean just sexual passion, but passion for living. You are focused on the man, but it is really just a symbol. You must look for what it is within you that is keeping you from having a passionate, full, fulfilled, juicy life. Who is the gatekeeper to living you own authentic life? It is within you, and only you are the one stopping you. You can blame many things within you for being the gatekeeper denying you your life, but you are the Queen of your Universe and it is only through your permission that the gatekeeper keeps denying you.
I must advise you not to take the man in the office too seriously. See him as the mischievous elf who helped awaken you. He is not in any place to support you through the break up of your marriage, should you two get together. He has told you honestly that is not his intention. When a man is that honest, hello! Pay attention! He is unrealized and somewhat asleep himself, so for more than one reason, he is not a good partner for you right now. Getting involved with him would make a bigger mess that would take some time to clear. Note that you said: "You love his life". You have a fantasy about what his life is, and you think you want it. But what you want is to love your own life. You need to turn your attention to yourself and start asking yourself the hard questions.
Mid-life is a very important time when a woman steps into her wisdom and her true power. You have so much left to give and to create. Menopause is merely the physical part of the transformation of your power and creativity into other channels. Other cultures revere and value this stage, our culture is ignorant about this to a great extent, so it is more challenging. But let me tell you, it is possible to have an incredibly stimulating, passionate Diva life no matter what number you are. Do not use excuses such as age, menopause, fantasies, society, your husband, your co-worker, your job, your this, that and the other thing, to HIDE from LIFE any more. LIFE has tapped you on the shoulder. Don't wait for a kick in the pants.
For a women, it is never to late to be a mother. In fact, we are called upon to "mother"all the time regardless of what stage we are in. If this is truly something you wish to experience, like a yearning, there are many children in need. You could be a mentor, a foster parent, a volunteer, there are so many ways to fulfill this wish for the mother experience. Truly, you have to face this regret and transform it into bringing something powerful into your life. Right now, you are living in the past and regret is keeping you stuck and not looking at what you could create instead. Perhaps it is some fear that keeps you in regret rather than stepping forward and looking at what you could create. You are perhaps keeping yourself closed to this out of fear when it is something that is clearly important. If you can release your thoughts and judgments on what could have been and face your fears about opening up more to life, you can transform your life.
It is time for you to investigate all your deepest desires and take hold of the reins in this powerful time of transformation. You must be the detective in your own life and find out what next needs to be done. Start paying more attention to your dreams, take up journaling, taking classes, reading books that help you --follow you intuition in choosing them and classes--you must investigate, excavate, search for the real you. Heal and release the past, make the changes you need to make.
Yes, you are obsessed right now, your perceptions, attention and energy are bound in an energy loop that keeps you thinking of this man non-stop. It will not stop until you make it stop by investing your attention, day by day, where it really should be: on yourself and your life. You must cut the cord of that loop, as deceivingly delicious as it can be, and realize it is only there to wake you up. You will not have relief from it until you discipline yourself to make some changes, then it will subside. First you will need discipline and self love, then you will find new creativity emerging and you will follow that effortlessly.
Honey, it's hardly ever just about a man. Men are like chocolate, to be enjoyed and savored, and to be companions, friends and lovers. They are not there to solve your life or remake you life. You alone are responsible for living from your passion and purpose. You are lucky to wake up. Now you must embrace the opportunity to grow, evolve, and enjoy your life more than ever. Yes, open your arms to embrace the new you and mother her into BEING.
Yes, you can do it.
love, Eve.
--Can't Stop Dreaming.
Dear Sleeping Beauty,
I see that this man has helped awaken you to your life. Your life is nowhere near being over at the young age of 50 and it looks like you needed a little reminder to realize this. Yes, you have been asleep, but your spirit is conspiring to create events that will make you wake up to the truth that there is much more you want to express and BE in this life. Your spirit is the real provocateur here and it recruited the man in the office to help get things going. It is a gift to be shown that there is still a spark of desire left and that it can be kindled into a fire. But the real fire you are looking for is your passion for LIFE.
And this is the theme of your questions. You have been awakened to look at your life and the desire for more passion in your life is what you are feeling. But I do not mean just sexual passion, but passion for living. You are focused on the man, but it is really just a symbol. You must look for what it is within you that is keeping you from having a passionate, full, fulfilled, juicy life. Who is the gatekeeper to living you own authentic life? It is within you, and only you are the one stopping you. You can blame many things within you for being the gatekeeper denying you your life, but you are the Queen of your Universe and it is only through your permission that the gatekeeper keeps denying you.
I must advise you not to take the man in the office too seriously. See him as the mischievous elf who helped awaken you. He is not in any place to support you through the break up of your marriage, should you two get together. He has told you honestly that is not his intention. When a man is that honest, hello! Pay attention! He is unrealized and somewhat asleep himself, so for more than one reason, he is not a good partner for you right now. Getting involved with him would make a bigger mess that would take some time to clear. Note that you said: "You love his life". You have a fantasy about what his life is, and you think you want it. But what you want is to love your own life. You need to turn your attention to yourself and start asking yourself the hard questions.
Mid-life is a very important time when a woman steps into her wisdom and her true power. You have so much left to give and to create. Menopause is merely the physical part of the transformation of your power and creativity into other channels. Other cultures revere and value this stage, our culture is ignorant about this to a great extent, so it is more challenging. But let me tell you, it is possible to have an incredibly stimulating, passionate Diva life no matter what number you are. Do not use excuses such as age, menopause, fantasies, society, your husband, your co-worker, your job, your this, that and the other thing, to HIDE from LIFE any more. LIFE has tapped you on the shoulder. Don't wait for a kick in the pants.
For a women, it is never to late to be a mother. In fact, we are called upon to "mother"all the time regardless of what stage we are in. If this is truly something you wish to experience, like a yearning, there are many children in need. You could be a mentor, a foster parent, a volunteer, there are so many ways to fulfill this wish for the mother experience. Truly, you have to face this regret and transform it into bringing something powerful into your life. Right now, you are living in the past and regret is keeping you stuck and not looking at what you could create instead. Perhaps it is some fear that keeps you in regret rather than stepping forward and looking at what you could create. You are perhaps keeping yourself closed to this out of fear when it is something that is clearly important. If you can release your thoughts and judgments on what could have been and face your fears about opening up more to life, you can transform your life.
It is time for you to investigate all your deepest desires and take hold of the reins in this powerful time of transformation. You must be the detective in your own life and find out what next needs to be done. Start paying more attention to your dreams, take up journaling, taking classes, reading books that help you --follow you intuition in choosing them and classes--you must investigate, excavate, search for the real you. Heal and release the past, make the changes you need to make.
Yes, you are obsessed right now, your perceptions, attention and energy are bound in an energy loop that keeps you thinking of this man non-stop. It will not stop until you make it stop by investing your attention, day by day, where it really should be: on yourself and your life. You must cut the cord of that loop, as deceivingly delicious as it can be, and realize it is only there to wake you up. You will not have relief from it until you discipline yourself to make some changes, then it will subside. First you will need discipline and self love, then you will find new creativity emerging and you will follow that effortlessly.
Honey, it's hardly ever just about a man. Men are like chocolate, to be enjoyed and savored, and to be companions, friends and lovers. They are not there to solve your life or remake you life. You alone are responsible for living from your passion and purpose. You are lucky to wake up. Now you must embrace the opportunity to grow, evolve, and enjoy your life more than ever. Yes, open your arms to embrace the new you and mother her into BEING.
Yes, you can do it.
love, Eve.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
I hate my new job!
Hı Eve
I don't know ıf you could possıbly have a quıck thınk about somethıng for me. Basıcally I've been ın my new job one week and I absolutely hate ıt!!! I'm 90% convınced that I should pack ıt ın once I get back from vacation but there's just that lıttle voıce ın my head that says I've worked so hard to achıeve thıs to walk away and go back to the ınsecurıty of tempıng. I work in an excellent and famous childrens hospital for two prominent surgeons. One of the surgeons that I'll be workıng for ıs an absolute nıghtmare...I'd love just a lıttle poınt ın the rıght dırectıon ıf you are able...and now the battery ıs goıng to dıe on thıs laptop. I get back to London from my vacation on Tuesday, and I'm absolutely dreading going to work. I was so looking forward to this big step in getting more settled in my life.
I'd be so grateful for any advıce you can offer.
Thank you,
Samantha, or I should say : Doomed to Temping in London, England
Dear Soon to be Reprieved,
My sympathies to you, dear for having to deal with more than one obnoxious British surgeon at a time. When I look at you as a spirit, I wonder what possibly could have convinced this young women that she would enjoy this job anyway? And for any person who struggles with being sensitive to energy and aware of spirit, a hospital is at best, a very challenging place to work. After all , it is first, a very atheist place! Most often energy or spirit is not considered or believed to be part of the healing process. This to Eve, is hilarious and tragic at the same time. So much needless suffering. But I digress! Please-- readers out there,--do not send me letters about how all this is changing. I have been in some fine hospitals recently to visit people and I say the changes are not coming fast enough. It's almost silly of you dear Samantha to have believed that a psychic woman such as yourself could repress her natural abilities and squish herself into this proper role. Let's not even get into the punishment that comes to a clairvoyant when they see the power games going on in hospital politics.
Samantha, you must follow the voice of your spirit and listen to what it is telling you. Think of the old cliche question of if you only had 30 days left to live, would you get up in the morning and trudge off to some invalidating experience day after day until you number was up, so to speak. What is it in your mind that has decided that in order to achieve your dreams you have to squeeze yourself into this role of assistant to living nightmares. (Incidentally, I do feel sorry for a person who is so lost they have to be a nightmare to the people around them)
I see that you are afraid you cannot have your dream, that the obstacles are insurmountable, and you have fallen victim to your fears and are partly influenced by the group agreement around you. I see that you are undecided about which of your dreams to pursue first, but want desperately to be settled, and are feeling the pressure to have babies (from the baby spirits themselves too--the little pests), and the job at least was going to provide you with security. But the more you crave security the more you realize that the gap between your fears and your faith in your creativity is getting wider. You must attend to your fears and how they are pushing you to seek security above all else. Your dreams should never play victim to your fears, because then you you are creating from your fears, which are painful lies any way. It is very hard to create what you truly want, and that which validates you completely, from a lie.
I believe you had this experience as a wake up call. The beauty of being in the limbo world of temping is it exposes you to many things and gives you the opportunity to work your creativity without comittment while you distill the essence of your dreams and what you want your life to become. Try another perspective other than judgment when you examine your life. See it as a beautiful sumptuous carpet you are weaving and take care of the threads you weave into and the overall pattern you are reaching for.
Oh dear, there I go again off in the la-la land of one of my metaphors....I will leave you with one last remaining thing to chew over. What part of you, internally, is like a nightmare surgeon, cutting off a part of your spirit?
love, Eve.
I don't know ıf you could possıbly have a quıck thınk about somethıng for me. Basıcally I've been ın my new job one week and I absolutely hate ıt!!! I'm 90% convınced that I should pack ıt ın once I get back from vacation but there's just that lıttle voıce ın my head that says I've worked so hard to achıeve thıs to walk away and go back to the ınsecurıty of tempıng. I work in an excellent and famous childrens hospital for two prominent surgeons. One of the surgeons that I'll be workıng for ıs an absolute nıghtmare...I'd love just a lıttle poınt ın the rıght dırectıon ıf you are able...and now the battery ıs goıng to dıe on thıs laptop. I get back to London from my vacation on Tuesday, and I'm absolutely dreading going to work. I was so looking forward to this big step in getting more settled in my life.
I'd be so grateful for any advıce you can offer.
Thank you,
Samantha, or I should say : Doomed to Temping in London, England
Dear Soon to be Reprieved,
My sympathies to you, dear for having to deal with more than one obnoxious British surgeon at a time. When I look at you as a spirit, I wonder what possibly could have convinced this young women that she would enjoy this job anyway? And for any person who struggles with being sensitive to energy and aware of spirit, a hospital is at best, a very challenging place to work. After all , it is first, a very atheist place! Most often energy or spirit is not considered or believed to be part of the healing process. This to Eve, is hilarious and tragic at the same time. So much needless suffering. But I digress! Please-- readers out there,--do not send me letters about how all this is changing. I have been in some fine hospitals recently to visit people and I say the changes are not coming fast enough. It's almost silly of you dear Samantha to have believed that a psychic woman such as yourself could repress her natural abilities and squish herself into this proper role. Let's not even get into the punishment that comes to a clairvoyant when they see the power games going on in hospital politics.
Samantha, you must follow the voice of your spirit and listen to what it is telling you. Think of the old cliche question of if you only had 30 days left to live, would you get up in the morning and trudge off to some invalidating experience day after day until you number was up, so to speak. What is it in your mind that has decided that in order to achieve your dreams you have to squeeze yourself into this role of assistant to living nightmares. (Incidentally, I do feel sorry for a person who is so lost they have to be a nightmare to the people around them)
I see that you are afraid you cannot have your dream, that the obstacles are insurmountable, and you have fallen victim to your fears and are partly influenced by the group agreement around you. I see that you are undecided about which of your dreams to pursue first, but want desperately to be settled, and are feeling the pressure to have babies (from the baby spirits themselves too--the little pests), and the job at least was going to provide you with security. But the more you crave security the more you realize that the gap between your fears and your faith in your creativity is getting wider. You must attend to your fears and how they are pushing you to seek security above all else. Your dreams should never play victim to your fears, because then you you are creating from your fears, which are painful lies any way. It is very hard to create what you truly want, and that which validates you completely, from a lie.
I believe you had this experience as a wake up call. The beauty of being in the limbo world of temping is it exposes you to many things and gives you the opportunity to work your creativity without comittment while you distill the essence of your dreams and what you want your life to become. Try another perspective other than judgment when you examine your life. See it as a beautiful sumptuous carpet you are weaving and take care of the threads you weave into and the overall pattern you are reaching for.
Oh dear, there I go again off in the la-la land of one of my metaphors....I will leave you with one last remaining thing to chew over. What part of you, internally, is like a nightmare surgeon, cutting off a part of your spirit?
love, Eve.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Boca Raton Bargain Hunter
Dear Ms. Eve,
I'm a little embarrassed to be writing you as my problem may not seem to be very spiritual or important compared to some of the others in your column. Thanks for that by the way, I mean the column. I enjoy reading it though I don't always understand it, I think I'm learning something new all the time.
Anyway, I have a problem with shopping.
I love to shop. I know you can relate to the love of shopping, because you mentioned you like fine luggage and you sound like you have good taste.
I love the feel of quality materials in my hand and I love looking for bargains.
My husband doesn't understand my obsession, of course. He does put me on a budget, though, and sometimes it bothers me, but then sometimes I'm grateful. But actually, money is not my problem. I am not sure what my problem is but lately, it's not just guilt about having alot of stuff. Now I am accumulating things I don't really need and giving away great bargains to my friends. But then, I go shopping again and it gives me that buzz, I like the hunt. How can I find fulfillment in my life with something else? Shouldn't I be doing something else with my free time?
Boca Raton Bargain Hunter
Dear Mighty Shopper,
Thanks for the compliments on the column.
Now, dear, I must say, you are correct, I do love an occassional spree at the Mall and I have been known to very occassionally caress my luxury leather luggage, but I am not the mighty bargain hunter you seem to be.
And I don't think you have anything necessarily to feel guilty about. It is so typical of a woman to belittle her skills and judge her talents. You obviously have a talent as a BUYER. Did you know that this is a very respectable profession? Who do you think is responsible for what shows up at your local Macys Department store? A professional buyer. Never mind that your hubby has no clue to the value of your nose for bargains. I bet all your best girlfriends do as they are getting the benefit of your talents as you are giving them stuff for free.
I want you to consider that there is no shame in having a talent for buying, especially, if it is about buying value. Now, there are many ways to look at your dilemma and change your perspective to one that is more aligned with your truth. You secretly know you have a talent, but you just don't have any validation for it and can't find a way to plug it in to a sense of community or a sense of making a contribution with it.
The reason you get a buzz like feeling from it is that when you are engaged in your favorite activity your female creative energy gets going and this powerful energy, which is the same energy that we use to make a baby and create with every day, this energy gives you a healing, and you feel more yourself when it is flowing. Is that not true?
What you need is a change of perspective, not a change of talents. You are in an ideal position to make a contribution to community by selling the items you don't need on a website, like Ebay, and donating part of the profits or all, to a non-profit foundation that you can choose--or even more exciting--a non profit organization that you create. Maybe one that benefits women or your favorite cause. You can shop with a purpose and shop for yourself at the same time.
The other thing you can do, if it appeals to you, is open a little shop. Why give away the finds when they can create jobs and profits, of which, all wealthy advisors say, 10% should go to charity. I see that it could be a big success. I can see that your children have grown and are doing well. Your husband is content with what he is doing. Whose permission do you need?
Stop judging your joy, and instead re-direct your purpose. Fulfilling your passion in a way that keeps you connected to community and able to contribute is the way to go.
Have fun, darling, and let me know what you've decided to do.
Love, Ms. Eve.
I'm a little embarrassed to be writing you as my problem may not seem to be very spiritual or important compared to some of the others in your column. Thanks for that by the way, I mean the column. I enjoy reading it though I don't always understand it, I think I'm learning something new all the time.
Anyway, I have a problem with shopping.
I love to shop. I know you can relate to the love of shopping, because you mentioned you like fine luggage and you sound like you have good taste.
I love the feel of quality materials in my hand and I love looking for bargains.
My husband doesn't understand my obsession, of course. He does put me on a budget, though, and sometimes it bothers me, but then sometimes I'm grateful. But actually, money is not my problem. I am not sure what my problem is but lately, it's not just guilt about having alot of stuff. Now I am accumulating things I don't really need and giving away great bargains to my friends. But then, I go shopping again and it gives me that buzz, I like the hunt. How can I find fulfillment in my life with something else? Shouldn't I be doing something else with my free time?
Boca Raton Bargain Hunter
Dear Mighty Shopper,
Thanks for the compliments on the column.
Now, dear, I must say, you are correct, I do love an occassional spree at the Mall and I have been known to very occassionally caress my luxury leather luggage, but I am not the mighty bargain hunter you seem to be.
And I don't think you have anything necessarily to feel guilty about. It is so typical of a woman to belittle her skills and judge her talents. You obviously have a talent as a BUYER. Did you know that this is a very respectable profession? Who do you think is responsible for what shows up at your local Macys Department store? A professional buyer. Never mind that your hubby has no clue to the value of your nose for bargains. I bet all your best girlfriends do as they are getting the benefit of your talents as you are giving them stuff for free.
I want you to consider that there is no shame in having a talent for buying, especially, if it is about buying value. Now, there are many ways to look at your dilemma and change your perspective to one that is more aligned with your truth. You secretly know you have a talent, but you just don't have any validation for it and can't find a way to plug it in to a sense of community or a sense of making a contribution with it.
The reason you get a buzz like feeling from it is that when you are engaged in your favorite activity your female creative energy gets going and this powerful energy, which is the same energy that we use to make a baby and create with every day, this energy gives you a healing, and you feel more yourself when it is flowing. Is that not true?
What you need is a change of perspective, not a change of talents. You are in an ideal position to make a contribution to community by selling the items you don't need on a website, like Ebay, and donating part of the profits or all, to a non-profit foundation that you can choose--or even more exciting--a non profit organization that you create. Maybe one that benefits women or your favorite cause. You can shop with a purpose and shop for yourself at the same time.
The other thing you can do, if it appeals to you, is open a little shop. Why give away the finds when they can create jobs and profits, of which, all wealthy advisors say, 10% should go to charity. I see that it could be a big success. I can see that your children have grown and are doing well. Your husband is content with what he is doing. Whose permission do you need?
Stop judging your joy, and instead re-direct your purpose. Fulfilling your passion in a way that keeps you connected to community and able to contribute is the way to go.
Have fun, darling, and let me know what you've decided to do.
Love, Ms. Eve.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Sea Belt Fastened?
Dear Ms Eve,
Firstly I would like to thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience and wonderful collages with us. I am writing to you about an issue which I have been turning around in my mind for quite some time and am hoping that you can help me sift through it. I am pregnant with my second child and this pregnancy feels very different to my first. This is probably natural but I feel less "in communication" with the baby than I did with my first child and although I am sure that that could be because I have less time this time round I wonder if there is any other reason. In a reading with a very wise and trusted clairvoyant before I got pregnant, I was told that one of the spirits who energy was stacked up on to be our child was a boy and that I the spirit had my doubts since I felt his karma was linked much much more to my husband and his family than my own. I think I the spirit was worried or "concerned" that it would be a challenge to feel "loved & connected as a mother" since his connection is/was so strong to my husband rather than me. That was my understanding of the information relayed to me by this very trusted and respected clairvoyant. She told me at the time that a lot of things were being negotiated and therefore would/could change. Later on - in my own amateur clairvoyant space - my information showed very clearly a girl spirit and that she would be born to us. We found out recently in a scanning - that we are expecting a boy ! I am writing to you for 3 reasons. The first is that I feel a bit nervous about this idea that we may not be as "connected" as my first child and I are. Secondly I feel a bit insecure since my own reading was so wrong and until now I have trusted my information quite a lot. Lastly I wonder what kind of mother I am going to manage to be this time around if our relationship doesn't flow. Do you have any advice on what I should prepare myself for. I a little nervous about the roller coaster ride ahead of me - life changed so radically first time round. Thanks for listening .......
Seat belt fastened :)
Dear Super Brain Woman,
How lucky this child is to have such an intuitive mother.
Let me first say, that I'm not the least bit worried for you and your bond with this child. Then, I must say, that I can imagine your trusted clairvoyant adviser would be rolling her eyes far back in her head if she could read your words and realize that you have built up a worry about this...Her eyes might roll far, far back in her head until perhaps her chair tipped backwards...
This is the power of your huge intellectual minds ability to make a mountain out of molehill and most importantly to create a present event--your blocked present time communication with this babys spirit --out of a past communication/event. Take a moment to sit back and let this sink in. You have allowed a past truth to become a present truth. Where months ago, your spirit was working through it's pictures (concerns) about your husbands strong karma with this spirit, your mind has carried on as if your spirit still has these concerns. If your spirit was really worried or against this child coming in, do you think it would have allowed it to happen? You must have faith in your own spirit. Your mind has decided that your intuition was wrong about the girl spirit. Your mind suggests that your intuition was a figment of your imagination, or a delusion. How do you know? Perhaps you will have that girl spirit but she will have transformed into a boy, for reasons you will understand later. Or perhaps that girl spirit is another baby you will have in the future. The future does not exist to spirit in the same way as it does to the human mind. Your communication and intuition was correct, it remains for your mind to come to grips with how it all manifests.
When I look at this spirit that is to be your baby, yes, he is presenting as a boy, but a what a big, wonderful jolly spirit he is. He is full of laughter. Yes, his karma with his father is wonderful, and perhaps he is going to teach his father to be more jolly. But he has good karma with you and you will have to have faith in that before you are able to see it for yourself. It is as if you are talking to him and sending your communication to something out there and he is standing in another place shouting "I'm over here!" Change your picture of him by seeing him from openess rather through the lens of self-criticism, fear, or expectations that your mind has set up for you. It is clear to me that your concerns as a spirit from months ago have been resolved. This baby is bringing to you something you have dearly wished for, but it is not for me to say what. That will be part of the beautiful discoveries you make on your own as his loving, wonderful mother. If I have anything to say about what you should be prepared for is that you should be prepared to have your mind challenged many times and that you will enjoy it.
Eve says: Stop worrying darling, and create a new communication with your darling boy from the place of "not knowing".
love, Ms. Eve.
PS. I'll tell Ms. Francine Marie you like her collages. Personally, I am not so crafty so I asked her if I could use her Eve series--and stay tuned there are more of those coming.
Dear Super Brain Woman,
How lucky this child is to have such an intuitive mother.
Let me first say, that I'm not the least bit worried for you and your bond with this child. Then, I must say, that I can imagine your trusted clairvoyant adviser would be rolling her eyes far back in her head if she could read your words and realize that you have built up a worry about this...Her eyes might roll far, far back in her head until perhaps her chair tipped backwards...
This is the power of your huge intellectual minds ability to make a mountain out of molehill and most importantly to create a present event--your blocked present time communication with this babys spirit --out of a past communication/event. Take a moment to sit back and let this sink in. You have allowed a past truth to become a present truth. Where months ago, your spirit was working through it's pictures (concerns) about your husbands strong karma with this spirit, your mind has carried on as if your spirit still has these concerns. If your spirit was really worried or against this child coming in, do you think it would have allowed it to happen? You must have faith in your own spirit. Your mind has decided that your intuition was wrong about the girl spirit. Your mind suggests that your intuition was a figment of your imagination, or a delusion. How do you know? Perhaps you will have that girl spirit but she will have transformed into a boy, for reasons you will understand later. Or perhaps that girl spirit is another baby you will have in the future. The future does not exist to spirit in the same way as it does to the human mind. Your communication and intuition was correct, it remains for your mind to come to grips with how it all manifests.
When I look at this spirit that is to be your baby, yes, he is presenting as a boy, but a what a big, wonderful jolly spirit he is. He is full of laughter. Yes, his karma with his father is wonderful, and perhaps he is going to teach his father to be more jolly. But he has good karma with you and you will have to have faith in that before you are able to see it for yourself. It is as if you are talking to him and sending your communication to something out there and he is standing in another place shouting "I'm over here!" Change your picture of him by seeing him from openess rather through the lens of self-criticism, fear, or expectations that your mind has set up for you. It is clear to me that your concerns as a spirit from months ago have been resolved. This baby is bringing to you something you have dearly wished for, but it is not for me to say what. That will be part of the beautiful discoveries you make on your own as his loving, wonderful mother. If I have anything to say about what you should be prepared for is that you should be prepared to have your mind challenged many times and that you will enjoy it.
Eve says: Stop worrying darling, and create a new communication with your darling boy from the place of "not knowing".
love, Ms. Eve.
PS. I'll tell Ms. Francine Marie you like her collages. Personally, I am not so crafty so I asked her if I could use her Eve series--and stay tuned there are more of those coming.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Vicious Cycle or Going in Circles?
Dear Eve,
I would like to ask you a question about my financial situation. Specifically, I need to change the way I make a living. I am a medical social worker at a hospital, but never really planned to do this for a living. Many years ago I started working at County Mental Health clinics and then hospitals in order to make a living while working toward getting licensed as a psychotherapist. I wasn't able to get credit for my work hours and became discouraged about getting licensed. Also, managed care came about and that reduced the payments to therapists for psychotherapy. I began then to return to my earlier love which was music. I started slowly to develop a music/voice student practice which was very part-time. I have taught students off and on now for 6 years.
My student numbers fluctuate wildly and unless I pay a lot for printed display ads (which take most of my earnings from students) I really don't have enough students to pay the bills. I've been juggling both my hospital job and students part-time for awhile now and I need a change. I am so burnt out at the hospital but don't know how I can make a living to pay the bills if I were to quit. I keep looking for another less stressful part-time job that will pay the bills, but haven't found one in 4 years.
Can you see a way I can change this seemingly stuck scenario? It feels like a vicious cycle. I keep hoping my student numbers will grow to the point that I can keep cutting back on my hospital job, and sometimes it gets close, but it just doesn't happen.
I am also doing an internship to gather hours for licensure to get my MFT. I would like to do dream groups and dream work with couples as well as therapeutic voice work. Somehow it seems like I need my MFT license to create these things and to demand enough money to pay my bills. I really only need $4K /month to survive but would love to build a business that creates wealth. I am a former business owner and love the entrepreneur lifestyle. I lost everything when my partner left me with all the bills. Anyway...pls let me know if you see the way through this situation.
Tristique
Dear Tristique,
Darling, I do so wish I could wave my magic wand over your head and POOF all this big knot of ensnarled confusion could go away.
Strange that you have chosen this name Tristique for your pen name so to speak because Triste in French means sad. And that is the first feeling that I pick up from your letter, a sadness or a grief at not following your hearts desire.
I see your dilemma as being more about your approach than that of there being a blocked road. It is not your financial situation that is the REAL thing holding you back but it's your thoughts about your financial situation and your fears that hold you back and make a snarl of things.
If you have an issue about the past betrayal of being left with the bills you need to address that, clean up that situation and finish with it, even if it means never recovering any money. You are still using that experience as a punishment and self judgment. It is still costing you energy. Is it an excuse or is it an unresolved pain that needs to be healed? Is there some communication you need to give to this person? In person, by letter or? What do you need to do to quit giving the past your energy or using it as a reason not to be fearless. You do not have to be the victim of past experiences unless holding on to the experience or being a victim of it has a payoff for you. What is the payoff of continuing to be a victim of it or being in judgement? Could one payoff be that you don't have to take the steps that scare you?
OK, so about the piece of paper you feel you need. Get it. If this is what proves to you your value, get the paper. But realize that if you do not see your value now, you will not own your value later, even if you do have the piece of paper. Only, you will be more equipped to furnish a facade that you feel you must hold up to the world. I think you should give yourself a deadline to get that paper, and beyond that no more, do not spend more time on it.
I also suggest you see a financial adviser. Even people who have no money should learn about finance from an expert so they can learn how to use money in the best service to their dreams when it comes to them. Make a plan to have more money.
Figure out your goals, what you truly want to do and hire someone,--they are worth the money--to see what are the practical steps to do what you want. That includes putting money aside for any old unfinished business, old bills, get those out of the way, quit spending your energy on those old worries, instead make a plan that deals with them. You are spending so much energy on worry and guilt and confusion, you need to allow yourself to bring your messy self to someone who has the proper perspective to help your organize your future. Interview your financial adviser or coach to make sure they are aligned with your goals. This is a tool that must work for you, not a person who will make you feel inadequate or guilty. You say you have the entrepreneur spirit. A great entrepreneur has a vision of what they want and then they hire people who are better than them at certain things to take care of the things they are not so good at, all in the service of their vision. If you believe in your vision, you must take good care of it and get out of the way sometimes, and be willing to take in good advice and act on it.
When I look at your spirit, I keep seeing the symbol of a butterfly. There is a transformation that is begging to take place within you. You also want to shed the last old beliefs that say you can't do it, and that you are not good enough to have your dreams.
I see that you want to combine the counseling part of you with the healing music, and other things to create wonderful multi-layered learning and healing experiences. I don't see that anything you are presently doing in your life is fully your hearts desire. But these things have helped you develop and learn what you truly want to do.
Don't you know that teachers learn, as they are teaching, what they are supposed to be teaching? Some say that you are just the vehicle that the teaching is coming through in that moment, and the students are your teachers too. All you need is the desire to learn, the vision of what you want and the agreement with the group of students for some wonderful things to transpire, that will aid you in your transformation. In short, what is needed is all kinds of communication--with yourself, and your guides, and your connection or the divine, and with people. You have been creating a bit in isolation. Must you slog through it alone? NO!
When you are more aligned with your hearts desire, yourself, you will not need to place so many ads.
I would say that your first step is refining your vision. Journaling, drawing, meditating--whatever is your way of getting it clear.
Next step, look at where your energy is being drained create a plan to put an end to the things that you waste energy on, past, present, future.
Next, get financial advise to help you draw out a plan of what you need to accomplish your dreams or create your vision, end old karma or cycles. Do not be conservative.
Use the power of the Hawk to fly over your life and get perspective. You have been stuck on the ground too long darling, you need to move that body and start shedding layers.
My goodness, this column is getting much too long. I can't condense everything into this little space! Dear, if you need permission from a wise woman or two or a mentor or two or three, find those.
Visualize that you have all the power of the women who have found their way out of hardship to follow their dreams standing behind you and decide that you will find a way, step by step.
You are about to break through the classic female programming of taking care of other people before following your dreams. First, you must take better care of yourself and your dreams, step by step, day by day. I really feel that you are divided about your goals and are not fully committed to them yet. Why? This is a good question to ask yourself. One reason is that you keep looking for a solution in your mind. All creation starts with spirit and energy, so you must engage your real creativity, your spirit.
The vision has to come first. And then you must call on the brave heart within you to make it manifest. I could blab on for a lot more but my dear, but this is supposed to be a little column, not a full reading.
Best of luck to you dear, remember the universe will respond when you stand up to claim your dream.
love, Eve, a fellow entrepreneur.
I would like to ask you a question about my financial situation. Specifically, I need to change the way I make a living. I am a medical social worker at a hospital, but never really planned to do this for a living. Many years ago I started working at County Mental Health clinics and then hospitals in order to make a living while working toward getting licensed as a psychotherapist. I wasn't able to get credit for my work hours and became discouraged about getting licensed. Also, managed care came about and that reduced the payments to therapists for psychotherapy. I began then to return to my earlier love which was music. I started slowly to develop a music/voice student practice which was very part-time. I have taught students off and on now for 6 years.
My student numbers fluctuate wildly and unless I pay a lot for printed display ads (which take most of my earnings from students) I really don't have enough students to pay the bills. I've been juggling both my hospital job and students part-time for awhile now and I need a change. I am so burnt out at the hospital but don't know how I can make a living to pay the bills if I were to quit. I keep looking for another less stressful part-time job that will pay the bills, but haven't found one in 4 years.
Can you see a way I can change this seemingly stuck scenario? It feels like a vicious cycle. I keep hoping my student numbers will grow to the point that I can keep cutting back on my hospital job, and sometimes it gets close, but it just doesn't happen.
I am also doing an internship to gather hours for licensure to get my MFT. I would like to do dream groups and dream work with couples as well as therapeutic voice work. Somehow it seems like I need my MFT license to create these things and to demand enough money to pay my bills. I really only need $4K /month to survive but would love to build a business that creates wealth. I am a former business owner and love the entrepreneur lifestyle. I lost everything when my partner left me with all the bills. Anyway...pls let me know if you see the way through this situation.
Tristique
Dear Tristique,
Darling, I do so wish I could wave my magic wand over your head and POOF all this big knot of ensnarled confusion could go away.
Strange that you have chosen this name Tristique for your pen name so to speak because Triste in French means sad. And that is the first feeling that I pick up from your letter, a sadness or a grief at not following your hearts desire.
I see your dilemma as being more about your approach than that of there being a blocked road. It is not your financial situation that is the REAL thing holding you back but it's your thoughts about your financial situation and your fears that hold you back and make a snarl of things.
If you have an issue about the past betrayal of being left with the bills you need to address that, clean up that situation and finish with it, even if it means never recovering any money. You are still using that experience as a punishment and self judgment. It is still costing you energy. Is it an excuse or is it an unresolved pain that needs to be healed? Is there some communication you need to give to this person? In person, by letter or? What do you need to do to quit giving the past your energy or using it as a reason not to be fearless. You do not have to be the victim of past experiences unless holding on to the experience or being a victim of it has a payoff for you. What is the payoff of continuing to be a victim of it or being in judgement? Could one payoff be that you don't have to take the steps that scare you?
OK, so about the piece of paper you feel you need. Get it. If this is what proves to you your value, get the paper. But realize that if you do not see your value now, you will not own your value later, even if you do have the piece of paper. Only, you will be more equipped to furnish a facade that you feel you must hold up to the world. I think you should give yourself a deadline to get that paper, and beyond that no more, do not spend more time on it.
I also suggest you see a financial adviser. Even people who have no money should learn about finance from an expert so they can learn how to use money in the best service to their dreams when it comes to them. Make a plan to have more money.
Figure out your goals, what you truly want to do and hire someone,--they are worth the money--to see what are the practical steps to do what you want. That includes putting money aside for any old unfinished business, old bills, get those out of the way, quit spending your energy on those old worries, instead make a plan that deals with them. You are spending so much energy on worry and guilt and confusion, you need to allow yourself to bring your messy self to someone who has the proper perspective to help your organize your future. Interview your financial adviser or coach to make sure they are aligned with your goals. This is a tool that must work for you, not a person who will make you feel inadequate or guilty. You say you have the entrepreneur spirit. A great entrepreneur has a vision of what they want and then they hire people who are better than them at certain things to take care of the things they are not so good at, all in the service of their vision. If you believe in your vision, you must take good care of it and get out of the way sometimes, and be willing to take in good advice and act on it.
When I look at your spirit, I keep seeing the symbol of a butterfly. There is a transformation that is begging to take place within you. You also want to shed the last old beliefs that say you can't do it, and that you are not good enough to have your dreams.
I see that you want to combine the counseling part of you with the healing music, and other things to create wonderful multi-layered learning and healing experiences. I don't see that anything you are presently doing in your life is fully your hearts desire. But these things have helped you develop and learn what you truly want to do.
Don't you know that teachers learn, as they are teaching, what they are supposed to be teaching? Some say that you are just the vehicle that the teaching is coming through in that moment, and the students are your teachers too. All you need is the desire to learn, the vision of what you want and the agreement with the group of students for some wonderful things to transpire, that will aid you in your transformation. In short, what is needed is all kinds of communication--with yourself, and your guides, and your connection or the divine, and with people. You have been creating a bit in isolation. Must you slog through it alone? NO!
When you are more aligned with your hearts desire, yourself, you will not need to place so many ads.
I would say that your first step is refining your vision. Journaling, drawing, meditating--whatever is your way of getting it clear.
Next step, look at where your energy is being drained create a plan to put an end to the things that you waste energy on, past, present, future.
Next, get financial advise to help you draw out a plan of what you need to accomplish your dreams or create your vision, end old karma or cycles. Do not be conservative.
Use the power of the Hawk to fly over your life and get perspective. You have been stuck on the ground too long darling, you need to move that body and start shedding layers.
My goodness, this column is getting much too long. I can't condense everything into this little space! Dear, if you need permission from a wise woman or two or a mentor or two or three, find those.
Visualize that you have all the power of the women who have found their way out of hardship to follow their dreams standing behind you and decide that you will find a way, step by step.
You are about to break through the classic female programming of taking care of other people before following your dreams. First, you must take better care of yourself and your dreams, step by step, day by day. I really feel that you are divided about your goals and are not fully committed to them yet. Why? This is a good question to ask yourself. One reason is that you keep looking for a solution in your mind. All creation starts with spirit and energy, so you must engage your real creativity, your spirit.
The vision has to come first. And then you must call on the brave heart within you to make it manifest. I could blab on for a lot more but my dear, but this is supposed to be a little column, not a full reading.
Best of luck to you dear, remember the universe will respond when you stand up to claim your dream.
love, Eve, a fellow entrepreneur.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Doubting Love
Hi Eve
I am so excited to write to you because I need help and don't know where to turn for it. I am a very young 30 year old woman and I have had so much trouble in love. I could barely get over the loss of my first love several years ago, and since then, have been with nothing but jerks. However. I happened to cross paths with a man named Eli whom I have had the most amazing connection with. I have always been somewhat psychic myself, and I have never been able to see my future with any guy I have dated or been with or cared about. Even the ones I loved, and the ones I wanted to share my life with at the time...even those... I felt the need for them, but could never see it....my future with them. And this has scared me in some ways for years, because not only could I not see my future with people I dated, but I have never been able to see a future for myself at ALL. This all made it more wonderful when I saw my future with Eli. I could immediately see a future with him, and fell desperately in love. So I ask you Eve, is Eli the one for me? The one I should marry and have a family with? Share my life with ? There are things that make me doubt it sometimes, but..the connection with him is amazing, and my love for him doesn't ever lessen. Please Eve, please tell me if he is my soulmate and the one for me...and if so, what is our future to be? If he isn't the one for some reason, please let me know who IS the one, and when he will come into my life and what future I have with him...thanks so much Eve, I wait anxiously for your reply.
Doubting Love
Dear Doubting,
My dear, I think your question is about the issues of certainty, trust, and fear rather than about wanting to know such a thing as your "destiny". First of all, I should tell you I don't believe in "destiny".
You have been hurt, you have "lost", and you want to prevent that from happening again. Even better, you have wiled away some time with "jerks" and have lost a little trust in yourself.
We are all uncertain about our future and don't want to do anything to risk getting hurt again or experiencing loss. But life is not meant to be lived safely in your bed at home. You are meant to experience the full spectrum of possible experiences during your spiritual evolution, as much as you are willing to allow yourself. If your life is a rich one, you will experience losses and joy, sorrow and bliss, anger and grace, and so on. As they say, one must experience one extreme to know the other. Nothing I say can make a spirit that is hungry for experience and wanting to express itself, lead a safe life. Indeed it is only fear that gives you the illusion that safety is what you want. So, why would I counsel you to walk the safe and boring path? I would be telling you to be something other than what you were born to be.
The future, my dear, is being created all the time, and is most definitely not cast in stone. You are on a path to gain your certainty about your own intuition, to trust that inner knowing, and you must follow your own inner compass. If your inner voice is telling you to grab onto this experience of being with this fellow, then you must follow it. There is no better voice to follow. It will lead you to the experience your soul needs to grow. Will the road always be smooth? Will this person never disappoint you? Of course not. The nature of human relationships is that they are the most complex and intense learning experience on the planet-- but rich and rewarding, even the ones we judge as bad. If you take away the judgment you can begin to find a new perspective and unearth the treasure that was beneath your suffering in the past. The real questions to ask yourself are: Is this the person I want to accompany me on this journey called LIFE? Is this person the partner I envision beside me on this rollercoaster ride people call life's journey? Or: Will we be able to understand what each other is saying while we are screaming down the steep part of the ride at breakneck speeds? OK, lovey, that's just me being humorous, but I hope you understand what I am saying.
Will you be OK? Darling, of course, you will always be OK. You came from the light and to the light you will return--there is nothing you cannot heal from whether it is today, in this body or beyond the body. If your spirit says you should follow love, follow it, and know that to love fully is a gift, no matter what else happens. The more you develop your certainty in your own intuition, the more you will learn that your intuition was leading you in a direction you needed to go, for one reason or another.
I wish you the blessings of love fulfilled.
Ms. Eve
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